The stranger

I posted yesterday that I was able to attend the entire Easter service at church but didn't elaborate. So keep reading...

There was a tall thin woman sitting next to me during the entire service. She was probably in her late 40's.

Towards the end of the sermon, Pastor Larry brought some points that moved me to tears. Ok I'm lying. It moved me to a sobbing blubbering mess (with NO tissue handy!). After the service ended, I turned to leave to go get Chase and Aimee from their Sunday School classes. The woman gently touched my arm and introduced herself. She said that she would sit with me in the prayer room if I wanted to talk and pray. I explained that I was in a hurry to get Chase (I didn't want him getting anxious.) She asked if she could walk with me to his class so we could talk.

By the time we got to his classroom, I felt like I had made a friend. Someone that saw my pain and stepped out of her own comfort zone to comfort a stranger. We exchanged phone numbers and she promised to call me sometime this week. I know for some people, that might sound a little crazy. And I, of all people, have issues talking to "strangers" and never let my guard down unless I'm comfortable with someone. I have no idea what led me to talk to this woman or share anything with her. But I did and it felt right, like God led me to sit next to her in a church full of hundreds of strangers.

On another note, Chase went back to school today after Spring Break. I'm anxious to see how his day was. At home he has been having a hard time sleeping past 4am but no significant changes in behavior.

Thats all for now. My heart feels warm and peaceful today.

Easter Pics!

I'm on my way to bed after the best Easter I can remember. A great weekend with family, friends and even the kids at juvie. The best part??? Chase had a GREAT time at Sunday School while I was able to worship the Lord during the ENTIRE service.

Video etc

VIDEO: Just a little entertainment...and probably a good laugh.

This has been a rough week for me. Kevin went back to his dad's house for a week. My mom fell and broke her foot while standing in my front yard. And to top it off, I got really sick and ended up in the emergency room with a steroid shot in my butt to help me breathe.

Does anybody notice the BIG thing that I'm not stressing about??? CHASE!! He's been fantastic. I don't know how I would have made it through this week without all of Chase's help. Lamictal seems to be a good med for him. He doesn't seem as irritable or short tempered.

Time to enjoy the sunshine and smiling kiddos. And my last day of Sick-Leave.

Bliss

What a great week this has been!

Chase and my boyfriend's son, T, doing their homework TOGETHER.

All three kiddos playing in the front yard.

Chase and T playing the Xbox Kinect This month really has me excited for our future as a family. Chase, Aimee, T, H (boyfriend) and me. I feel so blessed to have fallen in love with a man that adores my children and is willing to step up to the plate. (And I happen to adore his son also!) As Chase informed me this morning, "The Lord is REALLY listening when we pray."

changes

Things have been fairly stable around our house! My mind is jumbled after a busy day so watch out for scattered thoughts... My boyfriend and his son are slowly becoming more and more involved in our lives. NO I'm not in a hurry and NO I'm not planning on a wedding anytime soon. But YES I am in love and enjoying every minute of it! I applied for Social Security Child Disability based on Chase's illness. The result of my hour long phone interview: DENIED. I make too much money. BEFORE taxes of course. My net income would totally qualify, but they don't care that the county takes $1500/mo for not-optional retirement. Maybe I'll just quit my job, get on welfare and then have more services and cash to raise my kids. They just sh*t on those of us that are doing things the "right" way. Last sunday Chase really seemed pulled by his illness away from his faith in God. I made the tough decision to go to church without him. Aimee still went with me. I have so many friends that I really look up to that aren't shy about giving me advice. (Bless them!) They remind me that it is important to lead my child to the place where he can learn about God's love. But when it ultimately I need to focus strengthening my own relationship with God first. So that's what I'm doing. I feel like I'm in such a different place than I was a month ago. It has nothing to do with Chase's stability but everything to do with a change within me. That's it for now. Bedtime.

video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uYSEakg9Sg

What a wonderful gift of pictures/cards for Chase from his best friend Brooklyn's 3rd Grade Class.

nothing

Chase has been home from the hospital for one week now. The rollercoaster continues although not such intense highs and lows. I'm not sure whats going on with me for the last few days but I feel like I can't shake this funky mood. I spent 4 hours steam cleaning the carpets and cleaning the house this morning. I feel restless and anxious. It doesn't have anything to do with Chase but I can't put my finger on what the actual issue is. nothing...