stuff

Hi everyone. We are alive. Things are not good. Chase is sleeping in his own bed and I am thankful.

I enjoy reading your comments and sharing them but I have been having some issues publishing them from my iphone.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Not fair

I hate bipolar. I hate mental illness. Its not fair that my son cannot have a window in his own bedroom. Its not fair that he's so institutionalized that sometimes he refers to me as "staff." Its not fair that my daughter doesn't sleep at night because her brother's mania gets in the way. Its not fair that Chase is a joke to the other kids in the neighborhood. Its not fair that I can't fix him.


Ok enough whining. Chase is home from the hospital. Not sleeping at all. He tried to go through the window in his bedroom tonight because he was mad about dinner. I don't know what to do. Except pray. Keep praying.

Day #11 in hospital

Chase is still in the hospital. Day #11. He is now on Lithium and being taken off everything else for now. He's been on Lithium before but not for a "full trial period." At least thats what the doc says. Doc says possible discharge by next week.

I miss my baby so much that it hurts. We talk at least twice a day on the phone and I visit everyday. But its not enough. I want him home. The weather is beautiful and I keep thinking that he would be outside from dawn until dusk.

I haven't been in the mood to update lately. Sorry.

more stuff

I don't have much time/energy tonight. Chase is still in the hospital and Aimee is still coughing like crazy. Chase's blood pressure and pulse were really low yesterday so the Clonidine was discontinued. And without it, he slept from about 11pm until 2:30am. Not sure what their plan is at this point but Chase will not be home this week.

On a good note, Chase is sweet and loves playing board games during our visits. And he calls me constantly. Sometimes annoying, but makes me feel so loved.

5150 again

Chase is back in the hospital. Let me back up so you can understand this nightmare-ish week.

• Saturday - Chase raged/ran away
  
• Sunday - ok
  
• Monday - Good day but raged at night (window involved)
  
• Tuesday - Raged ALL morning. Calmed down, got on bus but was kicked off the bus nearly immediately. More violence. Hallucinations. MRT responded.
  
• Wednesday - Great morning. Great bus ride. Suspended from school by 9am. More hallucinations. Severe cycles plus psychosis. MRT responded.
  
• Thursday - Mania for 3 hours and then deep depression and sleep for 3 hours. Psychiatrist appointment. Two options. Hospitalization or Haldol (MAJOR antipsychotic med). Got Haldol. Still hallucinating but cycling slowed. Hallucinations/Night terrors
  
• Friday - Very confused and spacey. Lapses in memory. Strange behaviors. MRT responded. Climbed over 2nd story landing and started to jump. He stopped when he saw me. Was unaware that he was even near the landing (while leaning over it.) To the hospital. 5150'd and transported to the same hospital as before.

So thats a little summary. Chase is in the same hospital that he has been in 3 times before. We don't really have a game plan yet but will get started on medication adjustments tomorrow morning when his regular doctor gets there. He is doing ok. He feels better being there and knows he needs more help than he can get at home. Visits have been great yesterday and today. Very focused and good attention span.

Please pray for Chase.

I'm sleepy and going to cuddle with Aimee and then crawl into my bed. Good night.

bad day

So tired that I can't even type. Last night MRT came to the house. Chase raged and had to be contained by the MRT worker. Then things calmed down.

This morning things got way worse. We were about to take him to the hospital. We got MRT out to the house again and were able to diffuse Chase's rages one moment at a time. Chase is sleeping in his own bed tonight and I am so thankful.

Praying that tomorrow is better than today.