I often hear about mentally ill children experiencing a "honeymoon phase." The first few days at a new school or in a psych hospital can go smoothly until a child gets used to the environment and really settles in....and then all hell breaks loose. However, that is one phenomenon to which I cannot relate. I think Chase skipped that chapter in the "How to Train Your Parents" Handbook.
Having never experienced a honeymoon period with Chase, I can only be hopeful that things are still going smoothly because he is experiencing some real stability. Chase came home on Wednesday afternoon. It is now Saturday night and not once have I had to call for backup. Not once have I worried for anyone's safety. Chase completed two great days at school and worked on his homework with minimal fuss.
I often get asked if Chase can "grow out of his bipolar." There simply are not enough long term studies at this point. (But keep an eye out for Dr. Janet Wozniak in Boston since she is really pioneering those studies) What I do know for sure is that Chase's illness has changed and continues to change as he matures. How much of that is biology and how much of that is medication? Who knows. I also have to remind myself that nearly every environment that Chase is placed in has some therapeutic element to it. He is constantly reminded of coping skills and surrounded by people that are educated on how to help Chase help himself. So maybe his reduction in rages and violence is based on biology, or maybe Chase is being forced to learn how to control those behaviors. I honestly don't know the answer. I do know that the Lord has a hand on my sons heart and is helping him along the way.
A new friend of mine, Di, asked me if I would ever consider going into the Mental Health field. I love the kids I work with. All of "my kids" at juvenile hall are labeled as criminals. But the majority of them are damaged beyond words. If they weren't mentally ill before, they are now suffering from PTSD stemming from horrific abuse. I work with kids who have never been able to trust an adult. I think that I am exactly where I need to be.
But Di really got me thinking. Someday, no hurry, I would like to be an advocate for kids and families dealing with mental illness. I'm good at being the squeaky wheel when I need to be and I obviously have the passion for it. People like Di are the reason I keep this blog public despite the risks. We are not alone and we really need to stand together for our children. And sometimes when we are tired of standing, another mom lets us lean on them until we get our strength back.
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You are already an advocate for our kids, thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is a question that perplexes and tortures me as well.
ReplyDeleteLogan does better now than he had done in my home. Has he “out grown” his habit of attacking those smaller than him with a voracious appetite or has he learned at a tremendous cost that it is not ok to attack the baby in the household? His circumstances definitely have a therapeutic element on multiple levels.
Or is he still the expert honeymoon kid with an unspeakable biology?
I wish there was a crystal ball to tell.
Amy
Logan’s Mommy Still, even after a 5 month period of doing “well and neurotypical” came crashing down within the last 48 hours by my son playing with matches and voraciously attacking a 200 pound peer
Samantha does the honeymoon phase... it amazes me how well she can hold things together and I haven't figured out what it is that compells her to try so hard. Her teacher recently shot some footage of her at school and she became slightly agressive with another child (not like she does with me) and was taken out of the activity. She seemed to accept the consiquences but knowing my daughter I could see the looks she was giving and could see she was boiling inside like she had been done wrong. The same sitiation at home would have resulted in physical attacks and a full blown melt down. I hope some day we eill be able to tap into that control and help her to use it in every situation...
ReplyDeletei have been a long time follower but tonight i got to sit down and finally read alot of your posts form the past couple of days adn i have to say aside form the stabbing himslef i feel like im living your life. My son is autisutc and adhd and bipolar and i have a hd time getting him under control. instead of hurting himslef he hurts others and im so needing some help with so many things its not even funny anymore. i love my son but i no longer know what to do with him he is going on 9 on the 20th and i fear he may hurt someone if i dont get him under control. fortunately he is on disability and ges medicaid so that covers his dr's and meds but i think he needs more, more help at school, and more help from a therapist. he currnelty only sees a meds dr and i think a therapist would help me but he doesnt talk to anyone so i dont htink it will do much good for him. sometimes he is so sweet then others i have to literally pull my hair out to get him to listen to me and calm down. how do you do it and stay calm? if you have any advice i would really appreciate what ever you can offer? jessicawarrick@ymail.com you can read my blog at http://punkrockmomma.com
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate and relate to this post. I find myself constantly trying to figure out how much of m daughter's improvement over the past couple of years (she was diagnosed bipolar at age 5 and is now almost 9) is due her brain and body maturing and how much is due to medication. And I do wonder--maybe wishful thinking--if she'll grow out of it. Have also had others with no actual experience with bipolar kids assure me she will grow out of it, which is rather annoying.
ReplyDeleteFound your blog on Hopeful Parents. I'm a single mom as well - with a 15 year old son who has bpd. I'm also a special needs teacher in a day treatment (so don't have a public blog). Interesting parallels.
ReplyDeleteWishing all the best for your son right now. None of this is easy.