My daddy passed peacefully on Wednesday December 9, 2009 at 9:06pm. May he rest in peace. As much as I will always miss him, I'm so thankful that he's no longer hurting.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Grandpa
I know this blog is about Chase and all of our adventures with our little family. BUT right now, my life is about my father. My life as a mommy is on hold while my life as a daughter is in the forefront.
Last night Chase came to say goodbye to his grandpa. The hospice doctor told me that saying goodbye can leave a child with an easier grieving process. Being fragile already, I want the process to go as smoothly as possible for Chase.
What I saw when my son entered the room has left me with a whole new respect and awe as a Child of God.
Chase peeked his head in the room and saw grandpa sleeping in the bed. He walked right up to the side of the bed and held his hand. As clear as day, Chase said, "I love you Grandpa. With all my heart." And then he looked at their hands holding each other, let go, and wrapped both of his arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. Then he looked at me and said, "I'm ready to go now."
As we walked to the door, he put his hand on the handle and paused. I heard a sob escape from his little body and by the time we were out the door, he was sobbing and tears were rolling down his pink cheeks.
God blessed Chase with such intuition, compassion and heart.
Last night Chase came to say goodbye to his grandpa. The hospice doctor told me that saying goodbye can leave a child with an easier grieving process. Being fragile already, I want the process to go as smoothly as possible for Chase.
What I saw when my son entered the room has left me with a whole new respect and awe as a Child of God.
Chase peeked his head in the room and saw grandpa sleeping in the bed. He walked right up to the side of the bed and held his hand. As clear as day, Chase said, "I love you Grandpa. With all my heart." And then he looked at their hands holding each other, let go, and wrapped both of his arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. Then he looked at me and said, "I'm ready to go now."
As we walked to the door, he put his hand on the handle and paused. I heard a sob escape from his little body and by the time we were out the door, he was sobbing and tears were rolling down his pink cheeks.
God blessed Chase with such intuition, compassion and heart.
Comfort
I'm sitting in the hospice house with my dad. Every moment is harder than the last. I've come to realize that peace can sometimes only come with comfort. I don't know how much longer he has in this world, but I do know that he will be comforted and peaceful when he leaves. Please pray for his comfort. And for peace for my mother.
Friday, December 4, 2009
sweet delirium and pics
After 24 hours of NO SLEEP, I'm happy to announce that today was a good day! (mostly)
I thought I'd add some pictures for your viewing pleasure, or maybe if you are just cranky and need to laugh at someone.
The two pics below were taken when Kevin (Lil bro) wanted me to wear the lines on my face like the football players. He didn't think I'd actually do it! But I got proof!
'
This next pic was taken of Chase on Thanksgiving. I'm usually pretty strict about dessert after dinner but my mom spoils Chase just a tad. Hence the cookie hanging out of his mouth before dinner.
And this last pic is the picture I sent to Termite and Pest Control. I guess they don't exterminate these kinds of pets. So they will have to just stay cuddled with me for a while. At least they defecate outside. Usually.
I thought I'd add some pictures for your viewing pleasure, or maybe if you are just cranky and need to laugh at someone.
The two pics below were taken when Kevin (Lil bro) wanted me to wear the lines on my face like the football players. He didn't think I'd actually do it! But I got proof!
'
This next pic was taken of Chase on Thanksgiving. I'm usually pretty strict about dessert after dinner but my mom spoils Chase just a tad. Hence the cookie hanging out of his mouth before dinner.
And this last pic is the picture I sent to Termite and Pest Control. I guess they don't exterminate these kinds of pets. So they will have to just stay cuddled with me for a while. At least they defecate outside. Usually.
My dad is really confused and scared. He was in so much pain that they upped his methadone and morphine and now he's mentally a mess. Makes my heart ache.
Took the kids to take professional pics with their older cousins, Sam and Zach. The pics turned out great. We will be giving them to my parents for Christmas. But if you are nice, I'll scan them and post them. Chase is so photogenic and really knows how to "work it."
Obviously I'm doing better tonight. Maybe the delirium has set in from not sleeping.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Today
Today will be a good day. Chase was okay this morning and slept well last night. I have a sleepy day since I work my graveyard shift tonight. I need today to be a good day...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Too much
I am miserable today. Yesterday was awful. Issues with Jared and with my job. Big time issues with my job. Not sure what will happen.
Then last night I guess Kevin forgot to give Chase his meds. I got home from work at midnight and didn't sleep until about 2am because I was SO stressed. When I finally fell asleep, Chase was wide awake, woke up Aimee and wouldn't leave me alone. So about 1 hour of sleep last night. And to top it off, without his evening meds Chase was awful this morning. He was hyper and mean and moody. I was so happy when that bus came driving down the street...
Once again, bad mom award goes to Kristen.
Then last night I guess Kevin forgot to give Chase his meds. I got home from work at midnight and didn't sleep until about 2am because I was SO stressed. When I finally fell asleep, Chase was wide awake, woke up Aimee and wouldn't leave me alone. So about 1 hour of sleep last night. And to top it off, without his evening meds Chase was awful this morning. He was hyper and mean and moody. I was so happy when that bus came driving down the street...
Once again, bad mom award goes to Kristen.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
phew
Chase had a great day at school and on the bus! One big sigh of relief. PHEW!
Tuesday (today) I will be calling his therapist to make an agreement for when/if Chase needs to be hospitalized. I think having a plan in place will make me feel better.
I went out on a date with my boyfriend tonight. We saw the movie, Precious. I'm not sure how the majority of my social group would feel about it, but it hit me pretty hard. I work with kids like Precious everyday. I know them, feel for them and care about them. Well most of them. There are some that are awful.
Working the 3-11 shift this evening. Guess I should try for more sleep.
Tuesday (today) I will be calling his therapist to make an agreement for when/if Chase needs to be hospitalized. I think having a plan in place will make me feel better.
I went out on a date with my boyfriend tonight. We saw the movie, Precious. I'm not sure how the majority of my social group would feel about it, but it hit me pretty hard. I work with kids like Precious everyday. I know them, feel for them and care about them. Well most of them. There are some that are awful.
Working the 3-11 shift this evening. Guess I should try for more sleep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
