halloween

My babies are with their dad in Alameda. I have never had a lonely Halloween, but it just isn't a holiday without them.

Party. Smiles.

Chase got invited to a Halloween Party by one of his friends from school! I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but to a kid with a severe mental illness, an invitation is a HUGE deal. The only parties Chase really gets invited to are for family and for friends when they invite a whole class and don't want to leave anyone out.

The party was held by a young family that lives less than a mile from us. The little boy, E, is about 10 and seems like he might be on the autism spectrum. Either way, he was so happy that Chase came, and so were his parents. I could tell they have had the same issues with E being accepted, as Chase has. I genuinely like their little family and see a lot of similarities. Makes me feel normal. Accepted. Understood.

After about an hour, Chase was ready to go home. He was tired and a little overstimulated. Even tired, I don't think he stopped smiling for the entire time. I can tell he will be bragging about this party for the next month. Such a great way to end a fantastic week.

Now comes the fun part. Getting both kids out of the house before 6am... Gotta love working weekends.

Halloween Costumes

Chase = Jedi guy from Star Wars

Aimee = Kitty (but playing dress up in her princess costume too.)

Wooohooooo!

Chase loves the new little bus and the friends that he has on it! He even loves the bus driver! I'm so relieved!

Chase had a great day at school yesterday and after arguing with the nanny a bit, had an overall good day.

That's all for now....

sleep. lacking.

Can't sleep. I get the kids back from their dad today right after work. The plan is to then go to my parents house for our family dinner that we usually do on sundays. I'm praying that Chase's instability doesn't make my dad tense.

Sleep is so overated.

Men

This post has nothing to do with Chase. So its ok if you skip it.

I'm so upset right now. I hate that the men I have chosen to love seem to turn away from me when things get too hard with Chase. Makes me feel like I'm not enough. Why am I not enough? I am smart enough to know that if I shut down my own relationships, I won't be truly happy. But also realistic enough to know that I may not have room in my life for another man besides Chase.

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I'm feeling a little better. Chase had a good day but I suspect he's getting my nasty cold. I spoke with the Special Ed director who suggested we get Chase onto a different bus to see if that helps. He will be back on the smaller bus with another company starting on monday. He did great with this company and bus last year... I'm hopeful.

I want to go be with my dad but can't because I'm sick.