Chase's room

Chase's room has been a Mecca for my tears in the last year.

I sat in there with him after he raged and was so sad that he said he wanted to die.

I held him on days where he was so depressed that he wouldn't stay awake and he just wanted to be in bed all day.

I held the door shut to be safe.

I painted his room while he was in the hospital.

I sat in his freshly painted room wishing he was well enough to come home.

I took every toy and book and packed them into boxes for the garage.

I sat in his emptied out "safe room" wishing it wasn't necessary but knowing it was.

I stared from the hallway.

I saw Aimee's beautiful room. Ladybugs, big white furniture, books, piggy bank, toys.

I saw Chase's room. Fresh paint, camoflouge, holes in the walls, no closet doors, void of all toys and books.