Today's list

Life is good.

1. I'm finally recovered from my nasty cold. I had it for over a week. Yay for being able to breathe!
2. I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone today and stood up for myself. Although it might cause some future tension. Scratch that - it WILL cause future tension.
3. I installed the special window stuff to keep Chase safe in his room. No more worries about broken window during rages.
4. The discovery channel show is called Bipolar Mysteries: Families in Crisis. It will be on discovery health channel on may 6 at 9pm. I'm nervous but excited to share our story.
5. Aimee is finally getting a grasp on manners.
6. Chase's TBS worker, Natalie, came over today. She is really experienced and I liked her right away. She calls herself a "behavioral coach" and will start observations next week.
7. Chase is doing better than I could have imagined.

Days like today are what keep me going.

He's home.

Chase came home. Finally. I picked him up at noon from San Francisco and he slept during the ride home. His homecoming was one of the sweetest that I've ever seen, even on sappy tv shows. He ran up to Aimee and hugged her, practically swinging her around the front yard. I think she was in shock and didn't respond until we got in the house. Then she started squealing and hugging him until they both fell on the floor laughing. They spent the next two hours playing together and then Chase played outside until dinner.

I am so happy to have Chase home and feeling hopeful that he will remain stable. But there is a concern. One real concern. I think I brought home the wrong kid?!?!?! He looks like Chase, sounds like Chase and even laughs like Chase. So why is this kid asking for more chores and begging me to let him help with laundry and vacuuming?!?! Where did my kid go? Did I end up with Chase Version 2.0? I don't mind at all!

I wish you could all see the smile on my face. I hope you all have a chance to know that your children are safely and peacefully asleep in their own beds. I hope that you hold your children close and cling to that feeling. Please remind me of this evening whenever I start slipping into a ditch of self-pity. I am so blessed.

time

Time sure passes slow when you are missing your child. Two more days.

HOLY CRAP!

HOLY CRAP

http://health.discovery.com/tv/psych-week/episode-guide.html

Scroll to the bottom to the one titled Bipolar Mysteries. Thats our family in the picture....

Then this next one is a video clip...

http://health.discovery.com/videos/health-promos-bring-change-2-mind-kristen-patterson.html

pics only

Aimee and Uncle Kevin Chase playing Air Hockey during a visit.

Chase and his favorite girl, Samantha. (cousin) She brought him a Goofy Darth Vader stuffed animal from Disneyland. He LOVES it.

Easter and pics

Today was Easter and I only got to spend it with one of my babies. I spent 3 hours with Chase last night, but spending Easter without him really hit me hard. Instead of being sad, I'm going to post some happy pictures from the last week.

This is the view from Chase's room. The ocean is ight beyond the last row of houses.

This is Chase's room from his doorway. And my mom on his bed.

Front of the RTC main building. The RTC is over 100 years old and is beautiful.

Below is a picture of my toothless kid! I took this during our visit last night. My boyfriend was there too and his relationship with Chase is a constant reminder of why we are a good match....

I just took this picture a few minutes ago. It shows how little Aimee is compared to our giant cat, Dax.

I was supposed to have 3 overtime shifts this week but there were a bunch of releases at juvenile hall so they canceled most overtime shifts. I needed the overtime, but I guess God is reminding me that I also need to take care of ME.

That's all for now. Happy Easter everyone. God Bless.

honeymoons

Chase has been at the RTC since wednesday. As much as I like the place, it is becoming clearer and clearer just how mentally ill Chase really is. That sounds awful. Mentally ill? Sick? What is the right way to say that? I wish I didn't have to say it at all.

The RTC is amazing. It seems like a really cool boarding school but with a seclusion room on each floor and plexy-glass windows. You can see the ocean waves from Chase's window. I'll post pics soon.

I have heard from many bipolar kids parents that their kids experience "honeymoon phases" when placed in a new environment such as a hospital, school or RTC. Apparently Chase doesn't go on honeymoons... He is raging on nearly every shift at the RTC. At least they are getting a good picture of the illness and can address it. Two weeks isn't a long time to address such big issues, but thats no one's fault but the school district.

I'm working 14 days straight so I need to rest while I can. Tomorrow after work I will have a long visit with Chase.