Wednesday, July 22, 2009

custody

Today has been rough. Due to work, I haven't seen Chase since sunday and I miss him like crazy. I'll see him tomorrow though. I speak with him on the phone 3-4 times/day. Today I spoke briefly with his doctor and got very upset.

She said "ideally Chase would leave here and be transported directly to a residential treatment center. Since that isn't realistic based on the county moving slowly, we are looking at other discharge options. Chase might go stay with his dad for a while when he leaves?" WTF?!?!?!?!

After Jared got fired, he suggested that Chase stay with him for a while. I'd love some honest opinions here.
  • I have sole physical and joint legal custody of both kids.
  • Up until 2 weeks ago, Jared had never met any of Chase's doctors.
  • Jared has no job.
  • Jared lives in another county with his mom. All county services would end until he could get some through the other county.
  • Jared stays half the time with his girlfriend in Brentwood. Not a consistent living situation.
  • The county is about to freeze his bank account and take a good part of any unemployment, to pay child support because Jared refuses to take care of his children's financial needs.
  • Jared has no income to pay medical bills for Chase, or even feed him.
  • Jared is mean to Chase.
  • The latest psychological testing done by the hospital showed evidence of abandonment and self esteem issues directly related to Jared.
  • Jared constantly goes against doctors suggestions regarding violent tv shows and video games for Chase.
  • Chase would lose his placement at his current special day school.
  • I am currently dealing with a social worker about possibly filing a CPS resport on Jared regarding Aimee.
Am I nuts for thinking that Chase living with his dad is completely unacceptable for a child in this situation? I know that I need to keep Aimee safe, but I'm confident that with the new nanny and all of the support of family and friends, Aimee would be taken care of if Chase is unstable. Chase being at home is clearly not the solution. But until a better solution is presented to us, we will have to make it work. With the new wrap around services and MRT, we have a better chance that we did even 2 months ago.

Please either email me or comment with your brutally honest opinions. Ravenbug88@yahoo.com
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2 comments:

  1. NJuly 22, 2009 at 7:46 PM

    Hi there...I've read some of your posts but haven't had the chance to read ALL of them because I've been busy blogging about my 9yo with bp.

    I'm currently in the heat of a court battle to maintain custody of my dd. My ex husband has decided that after her being diagnosed with bpd for 5yrs, that nothing is wrong with her, and he wants to gain custody and take her off of her meds.

    Anyway, I came close to an RTC but intensive home therapy, meds and supplements have helped. We aren't stable but we're a lot better than we have been.

    I don't believe my dd's bp is as bad as your sweet sons but you have to think about yourself, whether your son is stable enough to have nuturing from you, and your daughter. This is a tough one... I think a good RTC would provide more than his dad would. I don't think his dad or his dad's girlfriend could handle your son as well as you have!

    Hugs,
    N

    hopeforserenity.blogspot.com

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  2. Kathy CraigJuly 30, 2009 at 5:17 AM

    Dear Kristen,

    I am sorry I haven't been keeping up with your blog... No way would I let Chase live with Jared!! I know you will keep Aimee safe w/o Jared's help or lack thereof!!!

    You are a heroic mom and have had enough to deal with without him in the picture - UGH!!

    Lovesssss,
    Kathy

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