Longer update plus pictures!

Got my laptop out tonight to write a real update for the week. Typing on my ipod thing is a lot harder than it should be.

More basketball games/practices. (thanks so much meredith) Chase loves it and when he's in the mood, he is focused and happy. Today he was a little "zombie-like" during the game though.

Chase has been included in tons of football games on our street with mostly middle school kids. He gets roughed up pretty good but is getting the hang of it and feels "cool" that the older kids let him play.

My friend that I have been praying for and worried about, is officially on her 4th day of sobriety. I'm so proud to say that. Even though I don't know about her struggles from personal experience, I hope to be there for her.

Here's a doozy for you.... Chase got mad while wrestling with another kid in the street. I told Chase to stop wrestling and he looked at me, said some cuss words and took off down the street. Once I caught up to him, I had to literally carry him home and then put him in a basket hold until he calmed down. Called MRT and they came out to talk us through the rest of the evening.

My boyfriend and I are trying to make all of this work. To inter-twine our hectic lives. I know he loves me and loves my kids. But there's more to it than just that. Thats a story for another day.

Goodnight.

update

This has been a hard week. Lots of drama with friends and their lives getting out of control. I won't spill their business here, but I am praying that good decisions will be made and that no friendships/relationships are destroyed in the process.

Chase has had an okay week. Tomorrow morning is his second basketball game. I'm so excited for him. And I will be filming.

Here are the updates for the week, lacking in sentence structure.

Chase has made HUGE improvements in his reading skills. Tonight he was bugging me to "quiz him." I got to pick any words, 4 letters or less and he'd have to spell it. Or I'd spell a word and he'd have to say it. Finally I just told him that he was late for bed and he made me promise to do more in the morning. I think I am glowing. Between basketball and reading skills, Chase's confidence level is on the upswing. YAY CHASE!

Good news on Aimee's school stuff too. Her teacher spoke with me today and feels like Aimee needs to move to the next class up because she's too advanced for their class. So Aimee will be moving to the ladybug room. And next year she will be in Pre Kindergarten. I guess there were a lot of skills that the class has been focusing on and Aimee is way beyond them. They also find that she plays with older kids instead of kids her own age. I'm so proud of my little smarty pants.

At school she's an angel but at home Aimee spends so much time whining that my ears start bleeding. She's either whining and not sleeping or she's hyper and happy. Blah.

My boyfriend is slowly becoming more involved in my life. Our past relationships have failed so we want to try things differently. Obviously we are taking things slow. He is slowly becoming a male figure in my home and getting to know my family. Same with me on his side of the family. When we are ready, we will start joining the two lives. Letting the kids meet etc. But slowly.

As far as the sports suggestions. Thanks Meg and Megan!!

I asked Chase about running and he didn't seem to like the idea. And his experience in the heat of summer might make races hard? I don't really know. I think I'll bring it up again. Maybe see if he wants to go on a jog with me when the weather is nice.

Water activities seem the most hopeful for the summer. I might spend the extra money for some private lessons. He does better in the pool when there aren't a bunch of other kids to distract him. After he feels confident, I'll let him decide if he wants to join a swim team or something.

I'm even thinking football. But thats not a summer thing.

I just want to encourage options. Not force him, but show him that the opportunities are there.

Now if only I can get my W-2 from my job so I can finish my taxes.

Sports

I feel drained from a shitty day at work. literally. Shit coming out of the floor drains on the unit. Not good. So I'm drained. No pun intended.

Other than work, today was a good day. I have a cold but so far its managable.

Chase had basketball practice and pictures today. I hope the pictures come out nice. He is so proud. The coach told me today that Chase is doing really well and has a grasp on many necessary skills of the game. Yay Chase! I'm so proud of him.

But now I have a challenge for my readers:

Chase needs another sport to be involved in after March when basketball ends. What sport can he play that is generally indoors, not too expensive and local in East County? Help! This is going so well that I want to keep the forward momentum with Chase.

good day

Today was a good day. It really was. Great day at work and that is a success big enough to dance about. Tonight we had our normal sunday family dinner at my mom's (and dad's) house. Tons of food and fun with family. Sometimes I feel like our sunday dinners are a chore but I'm beginning to see the benefits. We are together each week and know each other more now than ever. My dad made sure that we got on the right path towards all this.

Oh and Chase is still glowing about his basketball game.

Now I'm cozy in bed and loving it.

Maybe

Not in the "posting mood." Chase did great at school. Almost got in a fight with a kid on the bus on the way home. The bus driver pissed me off. Chase was so upset that he never wants to get on that bus again.

Aimee was so clingy today. Separation anxiety is getting intense with her. My mom spent the afternoon/evening with us.

Chase had basketball practice but seemed "off." He was spacing out and not really paying attention. Even the coach noticed.

Now both kiddos in bed. Tomorrow I work from 12pm to 11pm. Management of Assaultive Behavior physical training before my regular shift. At least I'll get paid overtime.

Goodnight. Maybe tomorrow night I'll write in full sentences. Maybe.

Update after hiatus

So after the longest hiatus between posts....I'm back and ready to roll. or type. And did I even spell/use hiatus right? I've said it a million times but never wrote it. oops sidebar.

Chase is doing so well that it almost feels foreign to me and I'm not exactly sure how to handle it! I know that might sound crazy to any of you without bipolar kids or kids on the spectrum. Basketball is really reaching my goal. Chase has a place that he can go for an hour each week, hang out with kids that don't see him as "different" and build self confidence. And on top of that, he is quite the player!

Even homework and school struggles seemed to have lessened this week. With all the improvments since Dec 9...I'm convinced I know why. I said two things to my dad on the night before he passed. I said, "When you go, I'm counting on you to watch over Chase. He needs you to look out for him and to calm some of the storm inside him." And of course I told him I love him. As irritated as my dad often made me, he had the opposite effect on Chase. Chase was mellow and peaceful around Grandpa. I miss him so much.

Aimee is a little stinker! Her little personality is really growing. She likes to do her own hair (usually involving a headband.) She likes to watch Dora about 5 inches from the TV screen when I'm not in the room. Future problems with vision maybe? And she LOVES to cook/bake.

As for me....I'm the real nut-job around this place. The ups and downs of grief are not what I was expecting. One day I'm ok and can talk about him and think about him and smile. Another day I feel such an emptiness from the loss of my daddy. Tomorrow will be one month.

The independent film is now in negotiatings with the Discovery Channel and should be ready to start filming by February. ::::enter nerves here::::

And by now my favorite little blue pill (its just AMBIEN you sicko's!) is kicking in and guiding me to my pillow. Good night and thanks for being patient with me.

Good day

Seems as good a time as any to do my weekly update

Aimee

• Aimee is spending her days dressing her "babies" for different events. Cant leave the house in pajamas of course. Gotta put baby in a dress, etc etc. Super cute
  
• Aimee goes to preschool tomorrow but they have the Christmas show in the evening. Aimee really doesn't want to do it. Do I bring her anyway?
  
• We made sugar cookies today that turned into one big cookie the size of the cookie sheet. Still tasty!
  

Chase

• He is doing well. Incredible even. First basketball practice was a ton of fun. Chase was focused and smiled the entire time. We need to work on "chest passes" and dribbling technique. After the hour of practice, he wanted to stay! He would have practiced for another hour.
  
• Besides the daily homework struggles, Chase is doing well in school lately. The teacher says he's less aggressive and more willing to learn. Lots of fidgeting and whining, but those are minor things compared to past behaviors.
  
• Chase went to Grandma's house for the first time since Grandpa died. He looked into his room and started crying. My dad laid in the hospital bed in his room for 6 months and now it is empty. But we did find a little stuffed horse that Chase gave to grandpa to hold. Now he calls it the "Grandpa Horse"
  
• As much as I avoid talking about Jared...... Its very clear to me that his absence has made a huge difference in Chase's behavior. Chase is doing really well overall right now.
  

Everyone else

• Met with the investigator on my "case" at work. Good meeting and I feel like I can relax until I know what my punishment will be, if any.
  
• Great shift at work. The girls missed me.
  
• A true friend went above and beyond the "duties" as a friend. I've always known she'd be there for me. She has NEVER let me down. But what she did for me today went way beyond that. I am so thankful to have her in my life.
  
• Kevin and Rick are here and leave tomorrow night. That puts me in a bad spot for thursday night when I work my graveyard shift so I have to figure that out tomorrow.
  
• BUT it looks like they may come back here and take Chase back to Yuba City with them for a few days!!!!! It would be great for Chase and for me! Then I only need to worry about getting a babysitter for Aimee this weekend instead of both.
  
• I really am at peace with the loss of my father. But what exactly does that mean? Maybe I will elaborate on that thought on tomorrows blog.
  

Good night for now. Today was a good day.