Wow. Thats it. Wow.

The IEP was very successful. The school proved to me just how smart Chase really is. Some of his skills are at the high school level while others are right at 3rd grade level. None of those tests or assessments meant anything compared to the comments from everyone that attended the IEP. School psychologists, therapists and social workers were all SO impressed with Chase's improvments that have happened since the last emergency IEP in March (when we were talking about Residential placement.). I don't even know how to put in words the genuine smiles that were all over the conference room. No one is in the "dark" as to how bipolar disorder interferes with a childs life, but it would be ridiculous not to celebrate the leaps and bounds of progress that Chase has made.

Today was eye opening for me. Chase was teetering (is that even a word?) on the edge of raging nearly all afternoon. He even was taken to his room but was safe enough that I could sit in his room while he threw cards around and pounded on his bed. HIS BED! Not the wall, someones face, a window or any other scary objects. He used a coping skill and was able to avoid a rage! Within 5 minutes he was sitting on my lap talking about Halloween costumes.

He also completed 4 pages of homework with minimal fuss.

With so much improvment since the med adjustment, maybe I can pull our lives out of the temporary stand-still that i've put us in and start going places again and having people over. That would be nice.

homework and dating

We are hanging in there. Chase is definetly struggling but he hasn't been raging. His IEP is on wednesday. The main issue I want to address is the amount of homework he gets and his punishments at school if he doesn't complete it. He generally has about 2 pages of spelling/writing and 2 pages of math and has to read for 20 minutes. As ANY parent of a bipolar child can probably tell you, there are good days and bad. Days where his homework gets done with no problem and days when he can't focus or even complete a single page. The teacher is great but has been really hard on him about his homework. He tries, we try, its not as if we are just too lazy to sit with him and work on it for an hour. So if ONE night a week or so it doesn't all get completed I think the teacher needs to understand that. Instead, he gets bad marks the next day, has to stay in for recess AND comes home the next night with the missed homework and the new homework. Imagine Chase opening his homework folder and seeing 7 pages of work that needs to be completed. Thats overwhelming for any 8 year old, even neurotypical ones. Ok I'm done ranting. Maybe.

On another note, I decided not to let my A$$hole exboyfriend ruin my outlook on love or relationships. So I've gone on a few dates with a few different guys. Having gone from a 10 year relationship directly into another relationship left me as a 28 year old that has never gone on a REAL first date. So I decided to jump out of my comfort zone and go on some dates! Dating is funny though. If the date is crappy, you end up with a silly story to tell your friends about being so bored that you ordered a Cosmo and laughed at the guy when he had a panic attack about bird poop on his car. And if its wonderful, you come home with butterflies in your stomach like I did last night...

tv show, IEP

So far so good. Nothing major happening around here. And in Bipolar Land, nothing major is fantastic! Chase made it through an entire week at school with no incidents. Aimee has had a nasty cold all week. She's SOOOO whiny when she's sick.

Chase's THREE YEAR review of his IEP is this year. Its hard to believe that three years have passed since we started this journey with the school district.

FYI Sept 13 and 14th the Bipolar Mysteries show featuring Chase will air again on the Discovery Health Channel.

IEP results

Chase is in the RTC. He got there around dinner time tonight and settled in quickly.

The IEP was really hard. I was an emotional wreck and it took everything inside of me not to strangle the necks of the women from the county mental health. After two hours of blah blah blah, we did have one good result.

Chase will have a TBS worker when he comes home, even though its a service that is generally not offered except to Medi-cal patients.

"Therapeutic Behavioral Services (TBS) is a short-term supplemental service offered in coordination with other mental health services. It helps in decreasing behavior or symptoms that are jeopardizing a child’s current living situation or by assisting in a planned transition to a lower level of placement. TBS helps the child learn new adaptive behaviors and skills to replace dysfunctional or dangerous ones, is cognitive-behavioral based, and is delivered in the child’s every day living environment. Therapeutic interventions that occur in locations where children experience the greatest problems; and a fade-out or transition plan to consolidate therapeutic gains. "

Basically we will have a TBS worker in the house for up to 20 hours/week. I hope this works. I don't want Chase to have to go to longer term RTC but I'm willing to try whatever help they send our way.

Curve Balls and Tequila

Life has a way at throwing curve balls. Right? Here's a couple that got chucked at my head today:

*Chase will be transferred on tuesday AFTER the big important IEP. Yikes.
*In order to pay my bills for the next month, I have to work 2 overtime shifts each week. That equals two AM shifts, two PM shifts and three GRAVEYARDS each week. Thankfully overtime is available on the graveyards.....yay...
*No one bothered to mention to me that mourning for the loss of my daddy could jump up out of nowhere and knock me down without warning.
*Child support paperwork arrived that reminded me that my kids haven't seen their dad since mid november. By their dad's choice. Pathetic. Heartbreaking.

Just thinking of the plans for tomorrow (well technically it's already tuesday) is making me anxious.
1. Wake up with Aimee.
2. Have big talk with Kevin about my expectations while he lives with me.
3. Go to pharmacy to pick up Chase's meds and my refill of Ambien
4. Chase's IEP in Concord. Tune in...to see Kristen act like a angry mama bear...
5. Drive to Vallejo to pick up Chase.
6. Drive with Chase to the new RTC.
7. Tour of RTC and get Chase settled.
8. Cry on the drive home while I miss my boy and question each decision I have ever made.

Tomorrow will be busy so I'd better shut my eyes now. I'm out of Ambien. If I can't sleep I might just resort to a shot of tequila. Don't judge me :-P

Our plans

Quick update before I go to bed. (Yes its only 1pm but I work a graveyard shift tonight.)

Chase is actually doing well. His new meds seem to be helping quite a bit. I'm so proud of my little man. And he has a roommate that he has so much fun with!

The plan for the next few weeks:
1. Get chase out of the hospital.
2. Transfer him to a residential treatment center in San Francisco. Our insurance will only cover a 2 week stay. I'm ok with that because it will give us a chance to see if it is really worth fighting for. We can see how he likes it and if its a good fit for him.
3. Next IEP at the end of March to discuss long term residential placement.
4. If necessary, bring in the big guns....a special education lawyer that I can't afford.

Since he's been back in the hospital, I haven't missed a single day at work. I take a lot of pride in my job and as much as I may complain about it...I love it.

Aimee is SUCH a diva lately. She reminds me of a teenager already! Yikes.

Thanks everyone for all your support and hugs. I've been in plenty of therapy throughout my life and writing has always been more helpful than talking for me.

NON day off

Chase had an ok day today. I had a rough day at work. I'm hoping tomorrow is better for the both of us. But sometimes I get overwhelmed with the constant therapies, sessions, doctors and groups.

Wednesday (My ONE day off):
6:45am Chase bus
8am Aimees Preschool
9-11am Wraparound Meeting (I am going to shorten it to 10am if he lets me)
11am Take Howie out to go potty at Mere's house
1pm Going to the IEP for Tamara's son, A.
3:30pm Chase's bus
4pm Pick up Aimee

Guess with all of this, its time for me to go to sleep.

Update on IEP

As I wait for the sleeping meds to kick in, just wanted to give a quick update on the IEP. Chase now qualifies for occupational therapy based on his sensory processing problems. Duh. I've been telling them that for a year. Chase will stay at his current school for now but they acknowledge that he is in crisis mode and needs to be closely followed. Nothing overly dramatic.

Because of the IEP, I only had to work 5 hours tonight. I wish it was like that ALL the time! Then again, I'm so thankful to be employed these days.

Tomorrow's plan:

8am Take Aimee to preschool
9am Chase psychiatrist appt in Antioch
10am Drive Chase to school in Concord
11am MY TIME to relax on my day off.
3pm Weekly meeting at work that is on my day off but not the other peoples. So I drive a total of 1.5hrs for 2hrs of overtime... Its mandatory. Maybe I can convince them to put it on another day every once in a while.
6pm Make dinner for the kiddos and have a relaxing evening.

UGH. THATS MY DAY OFF!!!!!! Not fair!