Drained

Today was a good day.

And then evening came. Chase got "set off" by everything. There was nothing I could say to stop him from being irritable. He (we) tried to use his new coping skills, but even they were short-lived. The head banging continued today but I couldn't tell if it was for attention or that he couldn't stop. Ususally I can differentiate betweeen the two.

Gotta love it when your 6 year old starts raging in front of company. thanks to the psych hospital, Chase has added some new words to his vocabulary. If I have to hear him call me a "bitch" one more time, I might go hide under a rock. Oh and the icing on the cake was when the neighbor came to see if I was ok because he could hear Chase.

I got hit once in the face tonight. Nothing huge, but still scary. I am not going off the deep end here. This could be a fluke, or maybe I gave him his lunch medicine a little too early or something. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe tomorrow he will forget that he called me a "fucking bitch" and maybe tomorrow I will forget how much it hurt.

Please don't even say "he doesn't mean what he says when he's raging." Duh. I know that. Its like saying sometimes a person holding a gun doesnt MEAN to shoot another person. Either way, the other person has a gun shot wound.

After Chase had lost his voice from screaming and he was all tired out, my sweet little angel came back. He wanted to put his tooth under his pillow for the tooth fairy and he asked me to read his favorite book of the week, Prince and the Pauper (Disney version of course!) He said that he wishes he could be like the prince and trade lives with someone who isn't bipolar.