Back in the hospital

Chase was 5150'd again tonight after raging at daycare for so long that the room looked like a tornado and the teacher was beat up. As soon as he stopped raging, he immediatly began going to the daycare kitchen to get a knife so he could kill himself. He also pooped in his pants during his rage.

After discussing everything with Jared, we decided he needed to go back to the hospital. Chase is on so many meds. And the fact that he's still cycling so bad, means something isn't working. We are having them do a med wash starting tomorrow. That means Chase will slowly come off of all medications. From there, they will study him and make slow and calculated medication/diet adjustments.

Until recently, I have always believed that God invented doctors who invented medicines to help sick people and that we have no reason to shy away from those medications. I had faith in that theory. I gave my son up to the world of psychopharmacology. So where has my son gone? I'm going to find out.

Don't get me wrong, Chase will need to be on medication for the rest of his life, but i feel like we have placed too much "faith" in medications and far too little on therapy, diet and behavioral coaching. I think each of these things are important components to Chase's treatment and we need to get back to that.

My boy will get help. My boy will grow into an amazing adult. My boy will need a lot of help along the way, but he will get there.

Back to the story (I got side tracked).....
So we went home, I packed a backpack of snacks, water bottles and little activities. Then Chase and I went to the Emergency room. Meredith brought us dinner thank goodness. We were starving. Jared came by for a bit.

When everyone left, it was obvious that Chase was tired so I asked to be moved into a room with a bed. We curled up in the bed and both fell asleep for almost 2 hours while the doctors tried to find a bed for chase on a children's unit.

John Muir (where he was last time) will not accept Chase back. They say that he needs to be in a residential facility and they can't struture their program around Chase's needs. So the only other option is a childrens unit in Vallejo. At this point, I figure he will be safe and I can visit him tomorrow morning.

There is a definate upside to this and I intend to focus on that instead of the whole in my heart.

Tuesday is the big AB3632 evaluation. That means that I will go to the evaluation, give them all of the information that I can and then advise them to do their evaluation at the hospital. I dare them to not accept them into their program. Our chances are good and with the advocate behind us, I am feeling confidant that Chase will get the help he needs through the school district.

With all of that said, I'm going to bed since I have such a busy day ahead of me. Prayers welcome, appreciated, and needed. Hospitalization #2 starts 4/13/09.