omg

Long day at work, but thankfully uneventful. I spoke with the hospital around 9am and was told that Chase was VERY hyper, irritable and unable to follow directions. Great start.

I got off work, and Jared was waiting outside to drop off Aimee. We took a drive from my job to the hospital. I didn't want to bring Aimee with me since Chase is unstable, but I had no choice since Jared was so quick to hand her over. I was warned by my favorite staff that Chase was having a very hard day and that he'd been in the "Quiet Room." I'm not surprised, since he is essentially unmedicated, but that's never something that a mother wants to hear.

Our visit with Chase didn't last long. Chase had bite marks all over his right arm and a red mark around his neck. He told me that he did it to himself when he decided to die. Staff confirmed that he had tried that and that they tried to call while I was at work. I'm not sure while I didn't get the call.

Aimee refused to give him back his crayon so he raised his fist to punch her in the face. I grabbed his hand and stopped him, but we had to leave. It broke my heart. Aimee had no real clue. I told my favorite staff what had happened, and we left as Chase cried. All I can do is keep Aimee safe while Chase gets the help he needs. But I'm so torn. I wanted to hold my little boy in my arms to protect him from himself.

Aimee and I came home and decided to go play in the sprinklers in the backyard. Instead, this is what I found.....

No clue how the patio table shattered. Maybe the heat, maybe something broke it. Either way, tomorrow will be a long day of cleanup.

Here are some other pics from this evening. I love taking pics of my sweet little girl, but something is missing and you can guess what it is. His name is Chase. He's supposed to be with us. In these pictures.